The Cinderella Complex and why You will likely Never Find Your Prince Charming

For most women, the fairy tale of Cinderella,(a story in which a poor, mistreated, damsel in distress meets, falls in love with a prince, and is whisked away to live happily ever after,) is the epitome of all love stories. In fact, it has been replicated in many cultures around the world, and with the huge success of movies such as: Ever After, Maid in Manhattan, and even Pretty Woman it seems that this storyline is one that continues to speak to the heart of women, universally. The mass appeal of this tale in understandable; indeed, it provides women from all walks of life with the hope that, no matter how bad things may get, one day she will meet her Prince Charming whom will save her from all of the madness. While there's nothing wrong with dreaming, there's definitely a difference between dreams and downright delusion.

Granted, there is possibly a soul mate for everyone is the universe, in fact, this theory seems more likely, than not. However, a soul mate is far more than just a list of things that you desire in a partner. Rather, a soul mate is someone whom you have a deep, almost unexplainable connection with, who both complements your personality, as well as challenges your character flaws so that you may grow in the long run. So as you can see, this completely negates the concept of "happily ever after".

This is not to say that you shouldn't aim high, by all means, shoot for the sky when it comes to love, as it can truly be a beautiful thing. On the contrary though, life has a way of balancing things out so do not be surprised when your rocket ship of love, comes crashing back down to Earth. The best way to go about finding "Mr. Right" is to be realistic! Here are some unrealistic ideals that you should rid yourself of immediately:

Not all Prince Charmings are Tall, Dark, and Handsome

OK, so physical attraction is important, especially when you are just getting to know someone, but disregarding a man simply because he is not your type, can be detrimental to finding the right man for you. Some of the strongest relationships are built when partners are not overly attracted to each others physical appearance. Why? Because the couple is actually taking the time to get to know each other for who they really are without the distraction of an abundance of sexual energy. Furthermore, many begin to find themselves wildly attracted to a person that stimulates them mentally, regardless of whether or not they are initially physically attracted to them. Why? Because attraction is majorly mental, you'd be surprised how your body responds to someone once your mind has decided that they are attractive. But of course, this is if and only if, you are keeping an open mind.

Not all Prince Charmings are Wealthy

Shocker, but not all good men are wealthy, quite the contrary actually, many well-to-do men are anything but faithful and trustworthy. Why? Because they have a ridiculous amount of options and assume that most women only want them for their money anyhow. This is not to say that you can not find a wealthy man to be good to you, but you would probably have a better chance of say, hitting the lottery, or being struck by lightening. Good men are around you everyday, they are the deliver truck guy, the cab driver, even the gym teacher at the local school.

There is nothing wrong with finding love with a more, common man. Take a look at the tabloids and you'll quickly see that a large bank account in no way guarantees happiness. Furthermore, just because a man isn't well off when you meet him, doesn't mean it will always be that way. Life is a strange happening, and there is something to be said for the power of love in terms of motivation for soaring to new heights.

Happily Ever After Doesn't Exist

OK, so surely there are those who seemingly meet, fall in love, and never have even a heated argument but rest assured, this is rarely the case. Relationships are work, and even if you find the one for you, there is an array of curve balls that the universe will undoubtedly throw at you just to keep you on your toes. There's infidelity, illness, money issues (even for the rich and wealthy), child rearing disagreements, familial issues, etc., etc., etc. The difference between a long lasting relationship and one that sizzles out in just a few months or years, is that some couples are realistic and willing to put in the work to maintain their happiness, while others merely ride the dopamine wave until their love invariably comes crashing down.

Either way, once the honeymoon phase is over, happiness is a choice; you can either choose to be happy no matter what, or let the circumstances dictate your happiness, or lack there of. You have to be prepared to weather the sunshine as well as the rain.

Men don't Dream of their Wedding Days

This may be a tough pill to swallow for some of you, but a marriage ceremony is not nearly as important to most men, as it is to women. As a child, men do not dream of what song will be playing as they walk down the aisle, of what colors their groomsmen will wear. In fact, the reception and honeymoon are likely much more memorable and rewarding for them. Do understand that women are conditioned to want these things, by society, at a very young age. So, while you're dreaming of how beautiful your ceremony will be, he is more than likely just ready to get it over with so he can focus on the most important thing, YOU! As young girls, many women wore tiaras and and long puffy gowns as they envisioned their wedding days. As adults, this vision only grows, culminating on her wedding day. This is not something that most men can relate to. Do not his lack of enthusiasm about this event, or even unwillingness to spend his life savings to make you feel like a princess for a day, throw you. If he is the right one, he will make you feel like a princess for a life time regardless.

The Bottom Line

Overall, the point here is you need to be open minded and realistic when it comes to finding love. Base you selection on more than just how much money he has, how he looks, or his grand gestures. Don't allow your desire to live out a dream wedding, or outdo your friends and enemies, outshine your need to experience true love. It's OK to search for Prince Charming but remember, things almost never play out in real life, as they do, in fairy tales.